Men and public creeping.

We need to talk about men and public creeping which is creepy behaviour to strangers in public. It’s not illegal, it’s just annoying and scary. Sadly it has become the norm.   

Guys who stare at you in public think they’re being dark and broody. It’s the beginning of a Hollywood movie where their intensity and persistence will ensure that you will be enamoured with them forever! It’s flattering that your very essence has captured their ability to talk or smile (Americans, sarcasm). But, no, in reality it’s just creepy and puts women on the alert that you lack basic communications skills which in turn makes you undatable. I’m a woman alone on public transport. No matter what I’m wearing or where I’m going I’m not looking for the love of my life right here, right now.

There are also those guys who do it to intimidate women because apparently this is a common hobby of theirs. I don’t know, it’s a weird phenomenon which nobody enjoys. Can we stop it?  

So yesterday I was travelling on the glorious tube system of London town. On a Sunday. Big mistake. It’s slow, it’s miserable and full of tourists. There you are looking at posters on the Metropolitan Police, vitamins, dating and, the new one ED – Erectile Dysfunction. There you are avoiding such posters when you feel eyes on you. Ah, a brother on the platform in new denim jeans. So stiff and straight. This tells me that his mother or wife does his shopping for him or he’s a little too stiff for moi. He also looks about 15. I dismiss him and get on the tube. He also gets on and, despite the free seats he doesn’t sit down. Instead he stands there and stares at me. No smile, no opening gambit. I look away and a minute later he’s still staring.

Is this the new thing? I’m thinking I must know him but, no, that level of commitment to straight, stiff jeans wouldn’t ever have been forgotten.

As I get off the train he finally says hi in a low voice I’m meant to find sexy and irresistible. This is it! The moment where we both realise that this is the great love of our lives. At Kings Cross (Victoria Line) with me in sweats carrying more snacks than clothes and my laptop . OMG maybe we can get married at a place in Kings Cross to commemorate how we met.  Like that hotel over St. Pancras. Do they do weddings? Or …..nah!

I pretended not to hear him over the music in my headphones, gave him a back off snarl for the 11 minutes of staring and he raises his arms in surrender like he’s the victim here.

And thus another incident of unnecessary men and public creeping ends. Now know that whilst public creeping is bad, friends in the friendzone who try to step out of the friendzone are more dangerous. But that’s a blog for another day!

© Chelsea Black 2019

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups