12274723_10156167103540461_9133691962760405053_nThe management of tragedy on facebook

Media – Horror! Something bad has happened and it involves a Western Country! You must care.

Right – Fuck this! Let’s blame the minority we fear may take over and promote our right wing capitalist agenda ! We’ll use the working class cos they haven’t got a clue!

Lefties – Let’s all mourn. Here, take this flag to help you feel better about the state of the world

Minorities – Fuck universal mourning. Where was the flag when other groups were dying?

Media – Wait, come on people, can we not confuse the issues and mourn this because it sells?

Minorities – No! We fucking can’t. Besides, what did you do to deserve this. Karma Bitch.

Lefties – Erm ……shouldn’t your anger be towards the mainstream media?

Media – Hey! We’re just reporting the truth as we want you to hear it.

Minorities – Yes but they are too powerful for us to fight so we’ll piss on this instead

Lefties – OK but whilst we fight the right are gaining power?

Right – Oh Sweetie, we never LOST power. So disillusioned.

Lefties – But what about the hatred of ….

Right – We don’t care! It’s all about the money, Honey

Lefties – Could you stop with the diminutive names? It hurts my feelings and makes me feel disempowered.

Right – Sorry petal.

Minorities – We won! We showed them.

Lefties – you won? How?

Minorities – Something something something on facebook.

Lefties – how has that changed…

Minorities – Let’s go get snacks and go back to chatting about TV shows because apparently that’s all we care about.

Lefties – I’m just trying to help you because you clearly need help

Minorities – Check your privilege, Becky.

Lefties – Bob. My name is Bob. So it’s a no to the flag then? I just want you to feel what I’m feeling!

Minorities – You don’t understand what we go through EVERY day. You’ll be over this in a week.


Meanwhile Media and Right high five, give Facebook a big ole hug and get back to business.


The END.

© Chelsea Black 2015

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups