London Fashion Week

I was privileged enough to score a ticket to LFW last minute yesterday . I had never been and to be honest I had never really thought of going. Don’t ask me why but the thought of watching skinny people while I try to sneak a Haribo out of my bag just doesn’t appeal.

But I put on my glad rags and I went. I wanted to wear something out there but….sometimes you just need to keep it simple so I went for Vintage fuchsia. Sadly it warrants a vintage coat which I didn’t have but I figured I would be ok.

There is a strange hierarchical system at LFW which I clearly don’t understand. People go in with tickets, some don’t need tickets. It’s standing , it’s seating, it’s front row. All I know is that it was fucking creating in there. The poor stick thin breastless models…how do they cope?

We say Osman who is some Turkish designer. Nice show. I like that he clearly took inspiration from my look and went with Fuchsia and Black as the base of his first few pieces. Good man. But could I wear anything. No. This was never means for anyone with breasts, hips or a butt. The skinnier you were the better the outfit looked. A tiny man popped out at the end. We clapped. It was over. I’d barely gottten comfortable.

I quickly checked the goodie bag. A tiny square of chocolate. Dark chocolate. Was this event a calorie free zone? I only leave my house to eat or drink. Maybe when we left we would find something?

But then as we came out there was ….vitamin water to warm us up? I hate that stuff.

And that’s when it became apparent. The recession has hit the fashion industry too. Not a drop of alcohol in two shows? Hmmmmm those poor fashionistas. A lot of them looked like they could do with an extra 20lbs on them. I had to do something …..So I ended up in Smollensky’s having sticky ribs and a ribeye steak and chips. It was the least I could do to help fight the curvy fight.

Oh well, tis over til next time I guess

Happy catwalking

© Chelsea Black

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups