Jogging pains

I’ve had a rant on facebook but clearly some of the men don’t understand why I’m ranting so I’ve decided to explain what happened to me today.

So every once in a while I eat way too much chocolate or drink way too much prosecco and I decide that I must go for a run. I would say 3 to 4 times a week I actually make it compared to the 6 to 7 times a week I indulge in treats. Don’t judge my precious. A life without treats is not a life for this princess.

I set off with my headphones on listening to Miguel and doing my waddle along the embankment. Not that clothing should matter but I had on black leggings and a long black top with my trainers and my wrist weights. I was taking this seriously even though it was only a 4 miler. As I cross over Prince Albert Bridge I see a guy pulled over and standing next to his car waving me across the road. There were other people along the Embankment and yet he was crossing over? I passed him, ignoring him and he beeped his car horn at me.  Beeping is the lowest form of interaction. I just can’t.

By this time I had moved on to some Britney tune and back focused on my run. Unbeknownst to me he got back in his car and drove by again and parked up.  Winding down his window he hollered. I lowered the music and shouted that I was running I didn’t have time to stop and sped off. I say sped, I mean waddled off at a steady 10 minute mile pace. I was in no mood to sprint.

He drove past again, slowed down and waved. I gave him the internationally recognised fuck off you twat scowl and ignored him. Yes there is a Dating Recession but picking up strangers in the street? It’s a step too far.

Now my thing is this. Why does he think that it’s ok to try to pick up women who are jogging? If anyone can answer this simple question I would be ever so grateful. I’m mid sweat. I’m focused on my form. I’m not checking out men in cars or seeing this as some sort of fashion show. So why?

Someone on Facebook suggested it was my fault for stopping. Another asked why I was running in high heels. HUH? So if there are any men out there who attempt to pick up women whilst they jog please stop doing this. It’s not a good look or a great story to tell the grandkids. “Yeah I was driving and I saw the batty on grandma and just had to stop and talk to her.”

So that’s it my precious. I may have to give up running and just accept that I will never be a single size again…nah. I love my waddles and no man will take that away from me. It is not common that we women complain about male attention. But sometimes we do have to say enough is enough, right? And before some idiot says I love it, no I don’t love it. Some men are just plain scary with their nigistence.

To waddling!

© Chelsea Black

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups