So our new semi friend Leonardo was about to leave when he realised that he had lost his phone. We looked on the table but it wasn’t there. I suggested that he asked the tequila soliciting chick he had been chatting to for ages. She looked like she might have taken it just to get him to leave her alone. But no, Leonard decided that we had it. And not just us but the 6.1 hulky Nigerian who was part of our motley crew. We were 8 strong by now 5 women and 3 men and yet….he went for the biggest guy there? And him so short? I’m guessing alcohol makes even the stupidest man brave. So he accused Alfie of taking his phone, words were exchanged which I couldn’t hear over the awful music and then before I knew it they were dancing. You know the ‘Hold me back’ dance that guys do? So I help back Alfie, almost breaking a nail and eventually it calmed down. But then one of the Kent boys comes over and asks to talk about it calmly with Alfie. Alfie eager to clear his slandered name goes into the corridor leading to the toilets…not more than a minute later fists are flying, the manager and bouncer are up there splitting it out and I’m really worried about losing a hair extension in the affray so I’m holding Alfie back but I’m also trying to keep a distance. I don’t think Kent boy can be trusted with braids near him.

Jewel Bar chuck the Kent boys out and we go back to our night out. Then Madame Attitude spills a drink on me and gives a sharp sorry when I point it out. Drunk on lust or just being a bitch? I decide it’s time we all head out because this night is not worthy of a black cab. I’m also starting to have my concerns about Alfie who seems to like a fight a tad too much for my nerves to deal with.

As we leave the waitress comes over and says I haven’t paid the bill. I point out to her that I paid in advance and I didn’t even use it. She insists I come back and asks another member of staff to check. Isn’t it there on her clip board? Apparently it is but she needs someone to check as she is clearly quite stupid. The other waitress is equally as clueless and they call the manager as I stand there seething in my coat. What is wrong with businesses these days? No decent customer service. When you book a table you take card details and a deposit. You aren’t without recourse. So the manager comes and explains that I didn’t even spend all of the deposit and that I’m free to go. Yes I too was starting to feel like this was prison. The waitress tried to apologise for her high handed approach but I walked off. I didn’t want to be in potentially the 3rd fight that night. My hair couldn’t take it.

So sadly for me that’s another place in the west end I won’t be frequenting again. But worse than that the next time a drunken person tries to sit on a table I reserve I’m going to tell them to sling their hook.

Have a lovely day all!

© Chelsea Black

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups