So this is a conversation with a friend. I can’t lie. I’m starting to think they are the normal ones. But to be fair I was mainly just irritated by his pace in response. I mean quite honestly do they think we have nothing better to do than to wait 10 minutes for a response?

Him: hey

Me: hey dear

Him: hows u

Me: gosh this is going to be a slow conversation. Are you sure you are up for it. YAWN!

Him: yea i can go slow

Me: then we aren’t a match.

Him: haha

Him: lol

Me: I don’t chat slowly. Life is too short.

Him: well your not speaking fast

Him: clearly your idea of pace is distorted

Me: hey then 10 minutes silence isn’t going to work for me dear

Me: I’m just being upfront and open

Him: haha

Me: let’s not fall out when clearly you like to chat slowly!

Him: haha

Him: your a classic

Him: you should write an article on it

Me: I’m sorry but one answer chats are also a fail. I really wanted us to work

Him: loool

Me: on slow chatters.

Me: I’m sure I have somewhere a long time ago

Him: you should find it for me

Me: Grrrr same with the one worders

Me: I don’t have time

Me: Things to do lovely. I’m a busy woman

Him: ok

Me: but if I stumble across it I’ll send it to you

Him: do your thing miss busy

Me: Mwaah lovely and next time don’t just send me two short openers and we should be fine

Him:  you like them long

Him: i will take note

Me: I’m a size queen. Even in my chats it would seem, yes

Him: clearly….

Me: Grrrr! Stop it

Him: make me

Me: No. You wouldn’t be able to handle it. Bless ya

Him:  :/

Me: crapiola! An emoticon? That’s the 3rd fail. We can’t even be friends anymore. You have no chat etiquette

As you can see my precious I’m doomed. I’m not meant to be chatting online peut etre?

© Chelsea Black

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups