Just so you all know that I’m not making up my frivolous facebook chats. I realise that it highlights my anxieties as well as his inability to realise that he was winding me up. I almost didn’t post this but, hey ho….Enjoy!
A year ago
HIM: hi chelsea what do you look like?
ME: random question from someone who also doesn’t have photos up?
HIM: i know that!! but i would like see how look send me a photo of you?
ME: Ok I’m not being difficult but we have never spoken. Why would I send a photo of myself to a stranger? This is quite irregular.
A year later
HIM: is that pic you with your hand on your head
ME: No. No photos of me at all
2 Days later
HIM: (in response to a moany update about work from me) Ok I hope everything at work works out for you stay bless
HIM: What kind of work do you do?
ME: Projects mainly. No job as such
HIM: Ok! would it be ok if we can talk on the phone sometimes
ME: what for?
HIM: I like to get to no you if that ok
ME: know me? Thanks dear but I don’t really get to “know” people through social media
HIM: Why that?
ME: It’s just a policy I have. I’ve done it before to no avail. But like I say thanks for reaching out
HIM: Their alway a first time for something new
HIM: You coming like a nice woman
HIM: You never no we can become good friends
ME: I am nice but that doesn’t mean I want to get to know you better.
HIM: That true!
HIM: If I send my number would I here from you
HIM: You never no you might end up liking me lol
HIM: I hope I’m not been to forward
ME: No. I can’t. Your spelling is driving me crazy
Me: are you doing it on purpose?
After a silence
HIM: Your giving me joke
ME: OMG stop spelling everything incorrectly. It’s too much
HIM: I mean to say sorry
ME: hmmmm am I being punked?
HIM: May be I should to talk you on the phone then
ME: No, I know enough dear.
HIM: Like what?
ME: Your spelling drives me crazy. And you’re persistent. I can’t. I’m neurotic about writing.
HIM: It’s this iPhone
ME: No these are grammatical errors. Their instead of there, Your instead of you’re etc. I can’t
HIM: What wrong in me being a bit persistent
ME: Just premature based on one day of interaction
HIM: We need more than one day to get to no someone
ME: KNOW!!! not NO!. OMG.
HIM: I’m say it short that all
ME: Don’t. It isn’t right. OK I’m going to do something else.
HIM: Like what?
ME: Talk to someone whose grammar isn’t giving me anxiety attacks
HIM: I must be giving you some joke
ME: No you really aren’t.
HIM: I talk to you tomorrow if that ok
Long silence from me
HIM: Don’t want to talk me again lol good night
HIM: So we talk later?
HIM: Why not?
ME: What for? I told you no and you’re still trying it.
HIM: I just have a feeling your a good lady
ME: you’re! see what I mean?
HIM: I’m just saying that all you don’t have to look to deep in to it.
Runs off to scream into the Chelsea Moon. I can’t do it.
© Chelsea Black