June 15, 2012 by

F is for Fatigue

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Categories: A-sexy: Etiquette Guide, BLOG, DATING TIPS, Latest, Tags:

F is for fatigue

5 years of post-divorce dating later and I can honestly say that I have a condition. It’s not ABW (Angry Black Woman) syndrome or bitterness.  Dating fatigue is a real thing they just don’t offer help for on the NHS yet (watch this space my precious, when we have the energy we’ll start a campaign)

I decided to look at my Fatigue more carefully just to make sure that I wasn’t just being self-pitying which happens occasionally or a diva which happens a lot and this is what I discovered:

My fatigue is not because of all the mediocre to sub human dates I’ve been on.  I’m ok with those actually as I’ve learned something from every single one like respect should be taught in schools.

My fatigue is not because I’m 5 years behind in my world domination plan. I’ve had to accept that the Olympic gold isn’t a reality and the Nobel prize ….well they haven’t got a blogging category yet.

My fatigue is not at all those smug couples who look at me pityingly and say “Shame, still single? Well when you stop looking he’ll find you”

Ok a little bit of it is at the smug couples. Seriously stop that shit.

Instead my fatigue is because on some days ….I think, what next? It’s easier to wake up when you have a plan and you know that you have to write 3000 words a day to get that book done in 3 months. Or if you make 30 sales calls then you may bet 3 that lead to work. Or that you are going to have to fight strangers on the tube to fight for a hot desk at a job you hate but it pays really well. It’s not easy but it’s easier.

But what if you’ve done everything? You’ve done internet dating to death, you’ve done the club and bar scene even breaking your own rules and going to zones that cab drivers won’t go to?

What if you have been shameless and asked everyone you know to hook you up? (Friends, note that you could do with losing the reeling look of horror at this request).

What if you’ve dated people too young to take seriously or so old that your eyes are veering to the sheltered housing section in your property search?

What if you’ve considered going over to the other side but been rejected for having long nails and an addiction to cock? Apparently they can tell that you aren’t a serious application.

What if you’ve actually started to look at happy couples and thought, seriously? HER!! Come on Universe!! Before realising that you’re being a bitch?

Ah yes my precious dating fatigue is a real thing and when it happens you have no option but to….get a new dating strategy and stop doing the same thing over and over again. Like writers block you need to do something else and hope that the solution to the block finds you. Find a new mojo.

Wait, isn’t that what all those smug couples have been trying to tell me? F*ck ‘em anyway. They could do it without that smug look J

Happy dating or not. Take a break, have some chocolate and I’ll see you on the flip side with a new plan. Girl with a plan, that’s me.

© Chelsea Black

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups

2 Responses to F is for Fatigue

  1. Jo Michaels

    I am cracking up today. Dating is supposed to be fun, right? Albert Einstein once said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over in the same way and expecting different results.” Not saying that you’re insane, pointing out that you noticed you needed a new plan of attack. You ROCK, lady. It’s about time someone notices!! I look forward to hearing of your new plan! WRITE ON!

    • chelseablack Post author

      Yes I’ve had 3 dating plans. One and two were great but the last one is a great big fail. I’m going to do a full health check review and come back with Dating 2.0 🙂

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