So recently I’ve shared some of my more vanilla fantasies and dreams with friends only to have them dampened. In certain cases there has been clear evidence of attempted dream sabotage. Go get your own dreams, witch. Stop being a dream dampener.
To be clear I’m not asking anyone to bank roll me, feed me or to give me blood. It worries me that dream dampeners pretend to be your friends. What happened to nodding politely and smiling as your homie / lover/ friend with questionable benefits tells you about how this is the year that their rap career / business/ weight loss is going to happen? Everyone is allowed to dream without having it interrupted with negativity and reality.
Here are my favourite soothing lines from friends when they feign concern:
Don’t make a fool of yourself
Apparently a lot of us are out there worried about looking bad in front of others. Newsflash : I’ve looked bad plenty of times. From my drunken dialling (apologies) to waking up wondering why I’m in bunk beds when my last memory was a bar in Old Street with work colleagues. Yes we have all made a fool of ourselves and you know what? We survived. It takes days of self- pitying guilt and water to get over it but, you do. So don’t let that stop you. And according to close sources it doesn’t have to be prosecco related. Apparently….
Unrealistic shouldn’t be part of your reasons not to dream. Dreams can be as unrealistic as you want them to be. It’s a dream. It’s not meant to be small. That’s a thought. A dream is meant to be big, a little too big so that you can grow into it, not something that is easily attainable and obvious. Dreams are bloody scary! But, they are good scary. Like, ‘oh my goodness, what if I could?’ scary. Dream big.
You’re going to get hurt
Clumsy as I am this one doesn’t bother me at all. Yes, most dreams when pursued will lead to some pain, disappointment and hurt. I wish it didn’t have to happen either but the road to your dream is likely to be paved with some cracks. Wait, that sounded almost meme like. Ok it’s hard as fuck. Phew, that’s better.
That won’t work
The orator has spoken. Have you done it and failed? No? Shut the fuck up then. Don’t tell me about your 5th cousin twice removed who did it once in the 80s and it didn’t work. This just tells me that you have no faith in my abilities to do it. And you know what? It may not work but that’s not for you to predict. Nobody wants to be wrong anymore.
Then I have those friends who make me dream bigger. They’ve already chosen a hat, wedding outfit, a private island, baby nick names. These are the same friends that support you by attending events or calling you because you haven’t been online for a wee while. And yet, why is it that one negative person can negate all the hard work of my Super, Dooper, Dream Team? No, not anymore. Not today Satan!
Ultimately I realise that some dreams are too big for everyone to be able to see them before they happen. That’s why they are dreams. That’s why they are mine, not yours. So, help someone get to that dream or, I dunno be quiet. That is all that is needed from you as a so called friend. For you to shut the eff up.
Resumes Work related Day Dreams of being whisked away to a non Nandos related date in some hot, far away place
© Chelsea Black