A-Sexy D is for Dirty Talk part 2

1)      Don’t focus on one part of her body. Yes you love her boobs or butt and want to do all sorts of things to it but she will start to feel fragmented and detached from said dirty talk. So mix it my brother. Use your imagination

2)      Avoid growling before she is suitably warmed up and you’re in the room. It just comes across as aggressive and a tad bit scary. In fact avoid all animal noises. The guy who neighed like a horse during sex didn’t get another invite. Too weird.

3)      Talk more about the things you want to do to the other person as opposed to the things you want them to do to you. Sounds obvious but, so many fail on this one. I had one guy describe in detail what he wanted me to do. I ended up having to look up half of it and we never made it off the phone. I would have much preferred a demonstration.

4)      Not swearing is much sexier than littering your soliloquy with F this and F that. You want to be romantically sexy and turn them on right? Save the swearing for those moments were your vocabulary seriously fails you.

5)      Remember their name is a good idea. In the likely event that you fail to do so in the moment then stick to sweetheart and dear not, I repeat NOT babe.

6)      Best you describe things you can actually deliver on if you are a pre sex dirty talker. No point in over promising and under delivering ok? Let your body do the talking.

7)      Dirty talk shouldn’t be a running commentary. This isn’t Match of the Day. Then I’m going to put my hand on your hot, throbbing member, then I’m going go stroke it 6 times. Then I’m going to hold eye contact, slide down your body and then I’m going to….mouth full mumble

8)      Don’t talk with your mouth full. It’s just rude

9)      Throbbing member is not dirty and shouldn’t ever be used. Even if it’s throbbing.

10)   Learning a script word for word is obvious and likely to go completely wrong on the night. Take some inspiration from your favourite porn clips sure but don’t do dirty talk verbatim. The other person will know.

11)   One ex had dating cue cards and I suspect sex ones too. It was very much tweek a breast, look into her eyes and say something dirty then tweek the other breast type of a show. It didn’t work.

12)   Dirty talk like sex should have foreplay, a crescendo and a climax. Otherwise you will get bored.

 

Happy dirty talk!

©Chelsea Black

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups