Dirty Talk

Ok so despite me claiming to be up for anything I’ve already revealed that I can’t say ass without it sounding like arse and I don’t like it when guys try to get me to say Daddy. I have a Daddy thank you. This is a dirty talk spoiler indeed.

But then dirty talk can be really, really fun. It can also be a huge turn on. I’m not going to lie my precious, I’ve gotten turned on from a telephone conversation alone and am quite partial to foreplay that starts way before the two of you are actually in the same room. So I know that it has its place. It’s also great as it avoids you asking that awkward “what are you thinking?” question when the sex hits a slight groove of boredom. You know, you’re on top but want to change but don’t know how to do it with a graceless effortless charm?

Let’s face it dirty talk can mean you have to do less work. You can’t ask for a better deal. So getting it right is important. What works on one freaky deaky ex isn’t going to work on everyone (although don’t assume that because they present as quieter that they won’t be as much or a bigger freak. Just saying)

So how to make sure that dirty talk is a turn on and not a turn off….It’s a tricky balance to be sure. Mention coming all over her and she thinks about an embarrassing swimming related incident from school.  Talk about bending her back and she thinks of Mrs Chapman her evil gym teacher. A quip about pulling her hair back or taking her in a public toilet and it’s Emma G the school bully dunking her in the toilets on the last day of school.   It’s like playing battle ships. You never know as we all have our own euuuws that don’t go down well. (see above references) and of course with porn there is an awful lot of plagiarism there but here is my attempt to provide guidance on dirty talk. Feel free to add your own rules as of course the whole point is that you are yourself or as close to yourself as acceptable to the person you are having sex with. Please remember that if there is copious amounts of alcohol involved aka truth serum then dirty talk should be limited to instructional and not the premeditation type. Ie. Yes, yes F*ck me harder is a goer whereas I’m going to F*ck you til you can’t walk is probably a little ambition given that you are going to pass out in 15 minutes.

Ok let’s go. Click here.

© Chelsea Black

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups