A – sexy D is for Dildo

A couple of Christmases ago I had to give a secret Santa gift. So hard with a spending limit! I never get this concept as I don’t know what someone is meant to find for less than £20 eventually on a not so rare trip to Simply Pleasure I found a vibrator in the reduced bin. £20! Perfect. And it doubled up as a dildo so batteries weren’t always necessary. We’ve all been there when the batteries run out and …..

So I bought it wrapped it and watched in awe as the shy girl picked it out of the box and seemed perplexed by it. I then breached secret Santa code by explaining to her if she didn’t want to use it as a vibrator she could always use it as a dildo. I understood completely. Vibrators can be a tad noisy and no one wants the neighbours to know that you’re single every night my precious.

She looked confused and that’s when it became clear that she didn’t really know what a dildo was. Quite often men confuse a dildo with a vibrator. Either way I know that the thought of something other than their dick invading that space is somewhat scary to some men. Don’t like the fact that you can be so easily replaced huh? I would be more worried by another man replacing you but no, they worry about some silicone and plastic. Or are you more worried that she might buy a strap and actually use it on you? Yes this is the joy of the dildo. So versatile and noise free!

Why dildos are good

  • They never cum too soon
  • They are always hard
  • You can get them made to measure. It’s never too small if you are in the shop buying it
  • They are softer than vibrators on the whole so not as painful
  • They are great as butt gapers or toys for the pets. Versatility

Why dildos aren’t so good

  • They can be rather awkward to get in when in a strap on. You really need to guide them so there isn’t as much hands free action.
  • The person wearing the strap on has to phfaff with it and doesn’t really get that much pleasure. Unless they’ve started making them with a
  • They can be cold. No throbbing members here. Best you warm it up properly with some heating lube please.
  • Sometimes you don’t want penetration you want clitoral stimulation. So not the same without the family buzz and whirring of the vibrator.

But, I’m not sure that dildos have a place in some heterosexual relationship beyond a one off bit of fun. Men really do start to resent it and you’ll find it disappearing into the bin before you know it. It challenges the male ego. Girl on girl is a discussion too as some women really don’t believe toy penetration is part of the deal.

I’m open. I never think you can have too many toys in your collection. Sometimes it’s nice to have different sensory experiences no? I’m guessing most of the men will be saying no.  Surprise me guys?

© Chelsea Black

 

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups