A – Sexy D is for DVDA – the deception of acronyms

Some South Park reference – Double Vaginal Double Anal. Apparently it is a theoretical position? Hmmm, I’ve never seen this in porn and I never want to see or experience this in real life. I don’t think South Park has any place in my sex life or TV life whatsoever as it was one of those cults that I just didn’t get. Like Coronation St, The Simpsons and Beavis and Butthead. What was so funny? I still don’t know.

A friend of mine was tricked into going to a nude /sex spa as her date suggested that it was a regular spa. She turned up at said spa new bikini adorned only to find her date and lots of other people naked and looking at her hungrily. I was almost tricked to go to the same place but my desire to get the right bikini led me to google it first. Hence the inclusion of DVDA. I’ve noticed that men try using acronym, abbreviations and slang words to trick us into trying stuff we would never ever want to do. That’s how I nearly got into an awkward water sports accident if not for the joys of google search.

I’m up for trying most things once my precious but I’m not sure I would want to have to explain to my folks that I’ve been hospitalised for sex related injuries. So anyone who was ever to bring this DVDA thing up even in jest would have to agree to some DMDA whilst I grab my purse and run.  (double mouth, double anal – I have just enough toys)

This deception reflects another attempt by the male of the species to push the boundaries of female physical possibility when it comes to being stuffed. This is what dolls are for.

No, what men need to think about is alternative ways they can extend their repertoire as let’s face it penis, tongue and fingers is all a little dated no?

© Chelsea Black

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups