June 6, 2012 by

Dear FuHu

2 comments

Categories: A-sexy: Etiquette Guide, BLOG, Latest, Tags: ,

A-Sexy F is for FuHu

Dear FuHu,

Hi. It’s me again. I don’t know where to begin. I know I keep writing and you don’t answer but I think it’s important we keep the lines of communication open. After all you are my Future Husband and if I can’t chat incessantly at you then who can I talk to?

OMG you don’t think I’m a nag do you? Is THIS why you’re avoiding me? Do you think I’m too needy? Oh FuHu, please ignore these desperate pleas asking for you to reveal yourself and let us start our lives together. I won’t even tell you about the 4 private educated children that are in our future or the holiday / writing retreat in the South West of France. See FuHu I too can be economically savvy. I know that the South West is cheaper than the South. We can take long drives to Cannes and Nice for the real holidays. Yes I’m saving us money already which will mean we have more to spend on domestic staff. Don’t you love my recession busting spirit? Yeah, me too.

Of course there are a few things I don’t think we should compromise on just for the sake of our (read my) sanity. The basics like Heinz baked beans and ketchup, black cabs when it’s raining, cold or my heels are hurting and of course the full package Homecare from British Gas. I’m sure you can see how cutting these are false economies right. That’s what I love about you FuHu, you don’t sweat the small stuff.

Now about my allowance. I know I said a couple of grand a month would cover it but, did you know that we are in a recession. Of course you did you’re such a clever one FuHu. Anyway, I’ve been doing some basic number crushing and it seems that if you want to keep me in the lifestyle I am yet to become accustomed too then we are going to have to double it. But I promise to be extra nice to your mother in return.

Ok that’s it from me for now. I’m off to visit nursery schools. I need to figure out which has the best networking opportunities for Sapphire and Onyx.  Oops, I slipped on the names. Forgive me. I just can’t wait!

I love you FuHu. Don’t be too late. I need to tell the cook what to make for dinner.

Snogs,

© Chelsea Black

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups

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