April 20, 2012 by

Daddy Denial

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Categories: A-sexy: Etiquette Guide, DATING TIPS, Latest, Tags:

A – Sexy D is for Daddy denial

But then a friend pointed out to me that this stance has bred a new type of man. The Daddy denier. It’s much harder for a woman to deny having had kids. Usually they live with her so the toys and requests for glasses of water are a dead giveaway. I had a friend who was going down on a woman when the kid walked in…yes children aren’t always the best for staying in bed when they know there is an opportunity to perform or play with new people.

The liars

My friend dated a guy, blatantly asked him if he had children and he said no. Then some weeks later he mentioned that he did have two but that he thought she wouldn’t have dated him if he had been honest and that he and the mother weren’t really getting on. My friend forgave and dated him for a long time but I couldn’t have gone on. A relationship based on a man denying their kids? I just blatantly see it as a lie. But then, she has relationships and I have a series of Almosts. So I’m hardly winning.

The forgetful

Then there was the one I dated who conveniently forgot he had kids or a wife. His bitter friend however was quick to tell me. There is a new phenomenon where men think that when we ask the question do you have children they hear “Do you have children in this room right now or anywhere in zone 1?” Another failed to mention his 3 who lived again with his wife in Essex. Yes Essex is far but I do think legally the children still exist? Check their birth certificates.

The Africans

Don’t even get me started on the Nigerian based children that are conveniently forgotten. I know some Africans love to send their children back home so that they can experience some of the schooling and culture there but that doesn’t mean the children now belong to the school.

Oh and another quick point my African brothers. So all that money you are giving to Western Union is for your Granny who you forgot you told me passed away 2 years ago? Or you have more than 2 Grannies. Aren’t we taking the African definition of family a tad far?

The ultimate denial

Another guy claimed to have one child who was 18 years old. A girl she was out of the house and therefore no risk to sex. Then he met with a male colleague and felt the need to overshare. Turns out that he had 3 children but one lived in the States and the other he didn’t think was his. Now, I’m no fan of Jeremy Kyle but the one thing he has brought to the attention of the British toothless public is that you can have a paternity test? But no when I spoke to the guy he was quick to tell me that yes the child looked like him but he didn’t think it was his. It couldn’t be. The reasons for his denial are still unknown but I suspect they were financial. Nothing worse than a cheap daddy.

The time delayers

Then there are those that wait until after you are emotionally involved or had sex before they mention that they have children. Be wary my precious, these ones are the most dangerous as they are too comfortable with emotional abuse. It’s about a needs to know basis of information sharing. I would rather guys just approached me with the following script I would be fine:

Hi my name is xxxxx

I do/ don’t have a criminal record

I do / don’t have a wife / partner / ex wife / baby mother

I do / don’t have X number of children by Y number of women

I am / am not cheap

I am currently open to having a relationship.

Then we can begin to have a conversation. The truth is always best dudes and with google and social media it will come out eventually. Trust me

© Chelsea Black .

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups

2 Responses to Daddy Denial

  1. IceQueen

    *dies with laughter* oh my days! I cried at “The Africans” section! These men sometimes have a wife back home, but conveniently forget that too…..

    • chelseablack Post author

      hahaha you know I don’t lie! These men are constantly conveniently forgetting about the Mrs in the village. Bloody cheek if you ask me. I want to know exactly how that inheritance is going to be split 😉

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