A-sexy: C is for Crazy

I don’t know how I forgot this one. Let’s start with an ode to a crazy singer we all love.  Britney! watch?v=Q4VK9_CfOLQ. I was going to go for Charlotte Church but I actually think she’s really normal!

I’ve noticed a disturbing trend amongst my male friends. Their love of crazy women. They claim not to love it and yet whenever they bring a new woman into our lives she is crazy. They justify it for a while but none of us are convinced. We know crazy. She hates you for being a woman who knows her man, she cries for no apparent reason, she’s the sort to kick off on a night out and then you all have to get stuck in and yet she’s …..adored! I’m not hating I’m just trying to appreciate why we celebrate?

I’ve come to accept that some men love crazy women, broken biscuits. I have three theories. Maybe more let’s see how it goes:

1)      Sex

Crazy women give good sex. I guess if you are a little too emotional or slightly unhinged you can let go sexually and this is something some men crave. It must be more intense then….I’m hypothesising. They’ve tried to explain it but I still don’t get it. Maybe she puts in more effort than whole biscuit women, I don’t know but all I know is that she has them pussy whipped with the sex. Maybe her unpredictable nature makes it wild. I must ask some of my crazy friends what it is they do…but then, I doubt I would be able to feign crazy when I’m doing my best to feign presence. You finished down there? And we’re back in the room!

2)      Excitement

These men are very normal. The dramatic adventures via crazy chick is their excitement. It’s like a drug they are addicted to. You introduce them to a normal girl with no issues whatsoever and he’ll tell you that she’s boring. She’s really not but then he can’t see what he can offer to the relationship. These guys are bored and so go for those that are less boring.  I get it . We all need a distraction

3)      Needy

Nothing says needy like a woman with a head full of broken biscuits. Apparently we can’t call them crazy anymore we have to say that they are insecure. Seriously? These women are vulnerable? Let me tell you something, if I had to choose between a 14stone angry woman and an 8stone (Tweedy Chav) crazy woman in the toilet of a club I would take my chances with the angry woman any day.

The first time she pulls a crazy stunt she should be out because you know this isn’t the last time. Kind of like men with violence you never understand why these women are given a second chance. When a normal girl is dumped it’s because there is no spark but I think it’s because he knows she doesn’t need him. She wants him. One of my exes went for crazy and told me that he loved that she needed him. I thought yeah to bail her crazy arse out of trouble.

But I’ve noticed that as my male friends get older. (yeah you lot aren’t babies anymore bless you) they are starting to realise the value of a relationship which doesn’t have crazy in it. So there is hope for us normal women yet.

But it’s never too late to find your inner crazy my precious. The sex may just be worth it.

© Chelsea Black

 

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups