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Digging Deep male gold digger

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Categories: BLOG, DATING, DATING TIPS, Latest

Digging Deep – the male gold digger

Dating is a glorious activity but, like all fairy tales with quests there are villains. So recently the question of gold diggers has come up. The Male gold digger.

They exist! Remember Mel B’s ex? Not Stephen Belafonte the other one? No, the other one! Jimmy G the Dutch dancer? And the indomnitable ex of Britney Spears? Kevin F redefined the smash and grab male gold digger. Yes they’re both dancers but, if I’m honest I don’t think it’s related to a whole career. Maybe just

No my precious, the average dater has to contend with a more mediocre type of digger. But, diggers they are. The dating digger. There are varying levels of digger but essentially these are men who date for financial or social gain. Not so much the rinsing of online women, no, these ones are interviewing for a Sweetner Mummy to help them through to the next level of life. These men aren’t ready to adult and are happy to prey on women who may not have that much themselves.  Be careful. I’ll take you through the obvious ones:

Dinner Digger

You go out on a date and he doesn’t put his hand in his pocket when the bill comes? Dude ate a storm though and was even deliberating between starters and desserts because, this may be his last decent meal this week. Dude was all about, ‘Shall we order another bottle of the Italian red? It does go well with Wagyu beef.’ This guy dates to live.  If you play the bill staring game then, pay the bill then grab your purse and run, he’s too pathetic even to date. This man is not for you. A new trick is for guys to throw in £30 after they ascertain you’re paying by card when the bill is clearly over £100. Selfish lover. Move on

Date Digger

Forgets his wallet, doesn’t ever pay for anything but is happy to suggest a trip away, hotels, plays he wants to go to, seminars he has to go to to make it to the next level. This is basically a professional student looking for a bursary and mentor. The implication being that he would like to adult but doesn’t quite know how. Dude is 43.  He has a job. His lifestyle is not your financial responsibility.

Den Digger

Too any questions about your living situation are the red flags. Who you live with, if you own or rent, how much you’re paying, how many bedrooms etc. It’s interview 101 and you may think it’s because he wants to shag (there’s a possibility that this is an access question because he lives with a wife or parents question, true) but to be honest you need to work out if you ever saw yourself moving your clothes out of your spare room so that you can move him and his comic and trainers collection in.

If you’re happy being dug and this is how you get your relationship high then fine but, let’s just accept that the dating recession has led to a lot of diggers out there looking to milk. You’re not a cow.

Happy Dating!

© Chelsea Black 2017

 

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Dear Santa 2016

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Categories: 40DayDating, BLOG, DATING, Latest

Dear Santa,

Me again. Yes I know I said that if you gave me a banging body, a phone that works and a better job that I wouldn’t ask you for anything else but, Santa, you’re killing me with the online dating? What’s the deal with all the duds on there? Are you not filtering anymore? And I hate to grumble but, I’m still waiting on that banging body too please? (OK in the spirit of fairness this may or may not have something to do with all those sugary treats you keep putting in my way.)

This year started off badly with zero dates for the first 4 months. I was starting to wonder if you had forgotten about me completely. But then you threw me a bone and gave me a guy with financial problems. This seems to be an ongoing theme this year. Out of 32 dates it’s been a hot money mess. Is my name Barclays? Here’s to show you that for once I’m not exaggerating my precious .

Love you Santa

CBx

12 tedious first dates

Some of the dates were so boring I had to set my phone alarm up and pretend to rush off to another appointment. How some guys appear witty on line but when you meet them they have nothing to say is a testament to their friends writing their profiles. It may also say something about my penchant for a strong handsome face and not actually reading their profiles beyond their height and star sign?

11 timewasters wasting time

Lateness is the bane of dating. Anything from 20 minutes to no shows have been experienced. Why am I standing outside of a restaurant you may ask? Because I don’t want the wait staff to know that, once again, I potentially have been stood up (see 3). Until you turn up I’m not actually sure that you’re going to make it.

10 poverty piss takers

Apparently it’s ok now for the woman to pay for the whole bill. If he starts to outline his financial woes during the starter then cancel the other two courses and save yourself the bill. This has become such a pandemic that I carry a spare card in my bra.

9 never agains

Some guys are so heinous that I never want to see them again. Anything from the way they talk about women and their exes to little things they drop about how they view life in general can put one off. Like those that proudly said they voted Leave. I can’t. Let’s just walk away from this date.

8 beggers begging

When they ask you where you live and who you live with it used to be so that they could come around for sex. But now it’s because they want a place to stay for free. Don’t invite them back unless you want to see them mentally measuring up your wardrobe room for their old comics and decks. You are not a storage facility!

7 waste men trying it

The ones trying to get their leg over but have absolutely no intention of dating you. Yes him. They are a growing breed. Don’t fall for the lyrics.

 

6 liars lying

A helpful hint to all liars out there: Scroll up before you lie and see if you’ve already lied about your age / height / marital status / who you live with. Otherwise you just out yourself as a liar. Sigh. So sloppy.

5 married men!

These ones were all unhappily married though so apparently that’s meant to sway me into thinking a wedding ring not for me is ok. It’s not.  [please note sarcasm American readers]

4 French dates

My best dates were all French Muslims. They turned up on time, they paid for the date (ok all of them were during Ramadan and didn’t involve any alcohol) and they were extremely polite. I’m just not looking for an interfaith relationship. I enjoy being a happy heathen.

3 Stood me ups

Those that just don’t turn up but then are really apologetic afterwards? I know you got a better offer. Just be honest.  Sitting at Bills by myself for 45 – 87 minutes is not cool. That’s how long it takes to get through two starters.

2 couples matched

Whilst unsuccessfully dating myself I did manage to hook up other couples and two seem to be destined to go the distance. Don’t I get tinkerbell points for that or something? Come on!!

And a partner just for me!

Santa, I know you are still working on the last one and you’re just waiting for the madness of 2016 to be over. Can we work together please instead of you and your elves using me for your after work target practise?

Thanks Santa!

Chelsea x

 

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Street Wastemen Opportunitists

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Categories: BLOG, Latest

Street Wastemen Opportunitists

Summer brings out all sorts of Street Wastement Opportunists so be on your guard my precious and hope they are just chatters and not grabbers.

I didn’t bask in the sun today. Instead I waited until late then lazily walked up the bookstore hoping to get something lovely to read. On my way up I chat to a friend who is in a new relationship and the sun is shining and all is right with the universe. I love new love.

Waterstone’s Piccadilly is still insisting on mixing the black romance with the white romance so I have to trawl through every fucking shelf of British chick lit and regency and highland fling romance to find any black romances. Turns out that I’ve already read all 10 that they had. This however takes about an hour of random distractions and avoiding bookshop lurkers. There was one today. It wasn’t looking like a great book day for me so I left.

Despondent, I’m walking back from Waterstone’s along Piccadilly and I’m almost at Hyde Park Corner listening to my music when I see a dude crossing the intersection towards me.  Dude mouths something to me. I take out a headphone and he says that he’s sorry to bother me whilst I’m power walking and then asks me if I know where Green Park Station is and points to his phone like he’s lost. I tell him it’s 5 minutes down the road and he says thank you then adds, you look beautiful by the way. Dude is clearly not lost and probably is from London. Sigh

 

I wanted to break into an Olivia Pope style monologue but that’s too much like hard work. I wanted to tell him that men like him who think it’s a compliment to stop women in the street and compliment them whilst trying to get a leg over is not cute. He’s not cute. He’s annoying. His microaggression is trying to ruin my day!

Besides I know I don’t look beautiful. I’m in a crappy dress, old flip flops and a scarf half covering the mess that I call hair. I look a hot mess but clearly he’s just trying it. What’s your name he asks me because the dead stare I gave him clearly wasn’t enough. Popping the headphone back in and growling I just stomped off.

What a joker. Clearly I’m not powerwalking in flip flops!! Hope your summer loving is going a bit better

 

© Chelsea Black 2016

 

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