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I’m a wizpert

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Categories: ABOUT, Latest, Randoms, Tags: ,

So the other day I was eating chocolate or thinking about eating chocolate when I received an email asking me to become a wizpert. Why lil ole me an expert on something. How could this be I wondered looking at the chocolate and wondering if Cadburys had reported the spike in sales in my area.

So what is this wizpert? Yes I hadn’t heard of it either and as I get requests to do lots of stupid things from having sex for money to checking out electronic equipment that doesn’t vibrate when I figured out it was I thought, why not?

Wizpert is a new idea where experts help people through Skype chats. I don’t know a lot about lots of things but bad dating practises…yes. It can be anything from business, to relationships, personal growth spiritual issues and dating. I’m one of their dating or relationship experts

I signed up to their beta test and promptly forgot about it. Until I got my first Skype request which was quickly followed by a few more. The fun part is that people tell you what they think the problem is and then it turns out that the problem is something totally different and you have to figure it out. You also have to be able to ignore typing errors, spelling and grammar on both sides as chatting is fast. Turns out I actually enjoy it.

I get an immense satisfaction when together we sort through the emotions and figure out what they are really feeling and how they are going to tackle their particular problem .In the end most of them know what they want to do but it’s fear that prevents them from admitting it. What if it doesn’t work out? What if the other person doesn’t feel as deeply as me? How do I hand their or my jealousy. How do I handle them not trusting me after I had an affair. All valid issues.

Weirdly I’ve been contacted more by men than I have women but that makes sense. They’re less likely to call their girlfriends for a natter about it and some of the issues are personal.  I await enough time to go by and for some of those that I’ve already advised to come back with their updates. Did she leave, has he stopped drinking and the violence and did she tell her best friend crush that she was in love with him? I guess I may never ever find out as it’s all anonymous. Some give their names and tell me to remember them they’ll be back. And you know what, I believe them.

So here’s to Wizpert and long may it go on.

© Chelsea Black

My wizpert detals are here

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The blog starts

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Categories: ABOUT, FIND ME, Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

So you know when you turn up to those business networking do da things and they tell you that everyone is going to have to do a 60 second pitch? And you’re standing there thinking to yourself, “****! I’ve got half an idea, my deodorant stopped working around noon and I’m hungry.” Well that’s how I feel about writing this column. It’s half an idea based on a series of status updates on a certain social networking utility but, hopefully, by the end of this you’ll get the idea.

Deadlines and word counts, my parents would be so proud. Not that they’ll see this. I mean, who wants to be confronted with the fact that their daughter is a dating disaster, spends way too much day time in the local park and thinks that the recommended drinking limit for women is 21 units? (Its 14 units for those of you who also thought that 21 was the right answer. It is, if you’re a man). Oh, and the sex! No one wants to admit that their precious child is out there exploring. Not as much as she would like to mind you but exploring none the less.

I’m a girl with a plan. I plan to have babies, get married 4 times (1 down only 3 to go!) and am destined for great things. Unfortunately I am severely allergic to kids, fall in lust way too quickly, and lack the focus for success. But none of this stops me from dreaming. You’ve got to have dreams right? I work for myself as an administrator and social group organiser (see reference to park above) but am a full time bar fly.

So a bit about me just to set the scene. Ok, I’m over 21. I’m at the age where men ask me how many kids I’ve got as opposed to do I have any. Then again this could be due to my permanent budda belly that I call Maxine Saj. She goes everywhere with me and constantly craves chocolates and woo woo cocktails. I don’t question these desires, I just provide.

I live in London and will not be removed unless under the influence of lots of champagne and a Tiffany ring. In fact, I saw the perfect champagne pink bauble ring in their window the other day. I think the ring, a house in zone 1 or 2, a great credit rating to counterbalance mine AND patience makes for the perfect compromise for being stuck in a relationship. Oh and a credit card would be yummy but I’m a realist. You can’t have it all.

Now I would love to stop and chat some more but you’ve just reminded me that I need to contrive a subtle way for my latest lust bunny to see the bauble ring. It’s been 3 weeks and I’m hopeful. So what if he hasn’t called me for a week. A girl with a plan, that’s me.

Ciao for now my precious

© Chelsea Black

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In the Black – A girl with a plan (June)

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Categories: ABOUT, FIND ME, In Bed With Chelsea, Read More, Tags: ,

So you know when you turn up to those business networking do da things and they tell you that everyone is going to have to do a 60 second pitch? And you’re standing there thinking to yourself, “****! I’ve got half an idea, my deodorant stopped working around noon and I’m hungry.” Well that’s how I feel about writing this column. It’s half an idea based on a series of status updates on a certain social networking utility but, hopefully, by the end of this you’ll get the idea.

Deadlines and word counts, my parents would be so proud. Not that they’ll see this. I mean, who wants to be confronted with the fact that their daughter is a dating disaster, spends way too much day time in the local park and thinks that the recommended drinking limit for women is 21 units? (Its 14 units for those of you who also thought that 21 was the right answer. It is, if you’re a man). Oh, and the sex! No one wants to admit that their precious child is out there exploring. Not as much as she would like to mind you but exploring none the less.

I’m a girl with a plan. I plan to have babies, get married 4 times (1 down only 3 to go!) and am destined for great things. Unfortunately I am severely allergic to kids, fall in lust way too quickly, and lack the focus for success. But none of this stops me from dreaming. You’ve got to have dreams right? I work for myself as an administrator and social group organiser (see reference to park above) but am a full time bar fly.

So a bit about me just to set the scene. Ok, I’m over 21. I’m at the age where men ask me how many kids I’ve got as opposed to do I have any. Then again this could be due to my permanent budda belly that I call Maxine Saj. She goes everywhere with me and constantly craves chocolates and woo woo cocktails. I don’t question these desires, I just provide.

I live in London and will not be removed unless under the influence of lots of champagne and a Tiffany ring. In fact, I saw the perfect champagne pink bauble ring in their window the other day. I think the ring, a house in zone 1 or 2, a great credit rating to counterbalance mine AND patience makes for the perfect compromise for being stuck in a relationship. Oh and a credit card would be yummy but I’m a realist. You can’t have it all.

Now I would love to stop and chat some more but you’ve just reminded me that I need to contrive a subtle way for my latest lust bunny to see the bauble ring. It’s been 3 weeks and I’m hopeful. So what if he hasn’t called me for a week. A girl with a plan, that’s me.

Ciao for now my precious

© Chelsea Black

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