Categotry Archives: A-sexy: Etiquette Guide

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Frenemies part 1

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Categories: A-sexy: Etiquette Guide, BLOG, Latest, Tags:

F is for Frenemies online

As the world becomes more virtual so too does it seem to take on the attributes of a computer or video game (don’t ask me I really don’t know the difference).

I noticed just the other day that bloggers who used to get on and support each other now slate each other with clever word play and digs. I’ve even had to block one for suggesting that I lacked class because I mentioned getting some sex. For the sake of my mental health I will assume that she was on her monthlies (men, women can say this but you can’t. I know it’s not fair dear but those are the rules). The frenemy is a subtle creature indeed. If you mention them to others they start to suspect you of spending too much time around the smelly pens. No frenemies are those stealth attackers that come out of doorways and punch you in the face.

Recent twitter battles between celebrities and beyond suggest that it’s now common to have frenemies. Yes indeedy this phenomenon is sweeping the nation. I prefer it when it is an open and fair battle.

I have frenemies. Don’t ask me why but some of us seem to collect those who don’t have your best interests at heart. Normally the frenemy is someone in your social circle of sphere who you can’t help but interact with you be it through mutual friends.  Sometimes they are much closer.

You have those that comment on a blog and warn you about the pending disaster that you will experience. I saw this on a friend’s blog and thought, why comment at all. Then you have those that pick an argument over every single tweet or Facebook update. These comments aren’t about you chick / dude so keep it moving.

I wish more people would frenemy Tweedy Chav. She is a nouveau riche questionably racist convict. And yet we celebrate her dimples, northernisms and inability to sing? But I understand how the frenemy works. It is dangerous sometimes to say what you really think of people if you share the same sphere. But what I don’t understand is why or why do you have to then pretend to be their friend. Tweedy Chav frenemied Nadine her band mate. You know the only one who could sing well. Nadine however knows it hence her precarious nature. She doesn’t know who to trust.

But one thing is obvious, the frenemy is a dangerous phenomenon who should be avoided at all cost because they want bad things for you. Whether it’s that you are perpetually single to coveting your goods / partner they celebrate your down times.  Oh and never ever get sexually involved with a frenemy. You’ll regret it. They spend the whole time gathering information on you to spit out later.

Of course you don’t know that they are an online frenemy until it is too late but do yourself a favour and delete them the minute you do. Blame the social media powers that be for a glitch in the system if you don’t want to discuss why you unfollowed or blocked them. But block them you must before they solar plexus punch you.

Like these video games frenemies should be slayed before they slay you. Get rid of them because they are exhausting emotional vampires. You think because they are online they are less draining but that’s not the case. You’ve been warned my precious

© Chelsea Black

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Make an effort

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Categories: A-sexy: Etiquette Guide, BLOG, Latest

A-Sexy: E is for Effort

I wrote of the effortless dating but please let’s not get this twisted…some effort is needed. My recent dating history includes a guy who kept me waiting for 3.5 hours and still didn’t have a plan. There’s spontaneity and then there is no effort at all. Another one booked me for a specific date then texted at 3pm to say he hadn’t actually planned anything.

Effort is part and parcel of what a woman does. The lack of effort suggests she is too comfortable and likely to be a) uninterested in you or b) a lazy girfriend. I would avoid at all costs. But when it comes to men I just avoid those that can’t make an effort or understand why you would expect them to. You can’t explain to these types. So a quick guide to making an effort

  1. A date. Not the date itself but the actual date. None of this “Let’s hook up for a drink sometime” BS. Choose a day, a date and make it happen
  2. A date. Is it a drink, is it dinner, theatre, cinema etc. The other day a guy sent me a list of 13 different activities and asked me to choose what I wanted to do. I replied, paintballing as it wasn’t on the list.
  3. Let the woman know 3-4 days before the date. If it’s an activity or a posh do some of us have to shop or get our hair and nails done. Dress codes are an essential part of the effort stage. Best you don’t arrange anything where I’m expected to sweat on the first day mind. Let’s save that for dessert.
  4. Clothes. Not hers, yours. Seriously those trendy jeans you’ve had since the 90s are not the one. I know they are the most comfortable thing you own but they just look lazy. Shoes are also a big thing. I have an aversion to white uncle shoes but that may just be me so if that’s your thing don’t be shy, ditch the trainers and go for a grown up shoe
  5. Time keeping. You should be there 15 minutes before the agreed time. It’s the rules. I don’t understand why you insist on doing these irritating text things when you are running late for no good reason with no ETA. Never be late on a first date ever. She will never ever let you forget it and it will mean it’s an uphill battle for you.

So there you have it 5 tips to making an effort on your 1st date. You don’t have to overdo it with romantic gestures or expensive meals if this really isn’t you. But some thought and preparation can go a long way to ensuring she’s not bitching about it on Facebook or Twitter when you’re in the toilet. Or is that just men? Don’t say you haven’t been told now.

© Chelsea Black

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Elevation

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Categories: A-sexy: Etiquette Guide, BLOG, Latest, Tags:

A-Sexy:  E is for Elevation

Not only is it a lovely song by U2 but it’s also something we seem to do to people we meet before they truly deserve it. Take Kylie for instance. Great as Charlene on Neighbours yes (although Jason Donovan, that perm and Bouncer the dog carried most of those scenes if we are honest)  but as a singer she wasn’t really elevated to pop princess status until she decided to encroach on her sister’s dancer music market and released the nah nah nah song. Personally I preferred her earlier work with Stock Aitken and Waterman where she was appealing to 10 year old girls not the pink pound . But I digress

So elevation of the potential partner is common practise especially when you are in full crush mode. The problem is most aren’t really worthy of this elevation and I’ll tell you for why. They actually haven’t DONE anything yet to deserve it. Then you have a sexual experience and you’re expecting bells to ring but they won’t. The process of elevation puts too much pressure on the relationship, the partner the sex and rarely does it live up to it. Now I’m not telling you not to dream big and that with a little work it couldn’t get to that magical place we romantics always dream of but early on you are setting yourself for an ugly fall from your gorgeous heels. Be careful

Yes I know we are in a dating recession which makes dating competitive and sometimes this means that we forget the basics but let’s know idiolise those who are barely meeting basic standards of dating acceptability. A great build is just not enough my precious.

Elevation….it’s only for those that deserve it.

© Chelsea Black

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