August 28, 2012 by

Carnival Criminals

2 comments

Categories: BLOG, EVENTS, Latest

I’ve noticed a few people post a photo of the pregnant bikini clad woman at carnival. Apparently to some this was a sign of bad motherhood. I can’t see how but then I suspect most wanted her to stay at home or dress up more. See the image for suggestions. I would like to take this opportunity to comment on some carnival fashions that could do with being skipped next year. Let me be clear; The freedom to express oneself through fashion is one that I support wholeheartedly. However there must be some rules to defend the community from criminals:

  1. Leggings with bucket knickers. Yes it’s carnival but that’s no excuse for VPLs – Visible panty lines under clothes people! All this does is create 4 butts instead of 2. More to grab onto perhaps?
  2. Lycra that has been washed too much and has lost all elasticity. Learn to say goodbye to that dress from 10 years ago
  3. Size 14 Lycra that is punished on thighs and bellies that are a size 22. This isn’t a scientific experiment.
  4. All your good clothes in one day. No lovely choose an outfit and go for it! Coordinate or Clash but do it consciously.
  5. All your gold jewellery at once. No wonder the procession moves so slowly. It’s hard dragging that extra weight around.

I’m all for fashion freedom trust me I dress for me and me only but if these 5 golden rules are followed I’m sure it wouldn’t give the discerning anything to talk about.  I won’t say anything on hair as I think black women get enough of a raw deal on this but, those with long hair, stop with the flicking it in other people’s faces.  You know who you are. Always the blondes 😛

And don’t get me started on excessive adult face painting. All it says is that someone isn’t planning on going clubbing later….you hope.

© Chelsea Black

 

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups

2 Responses to Carnival Criminals

  1. Jo Michaels

    I am rofl. Great rules! We should bring those on over to the US as well. My favorite is a size 16 ass in a pair of size 8 jeans with a baby tee all tucked in over the HUGE muffin top it creates. Do these women not have friends? Attention friends of these women: It makes you look bad, too!! LOL!!

    • Just Saying

      I’d never even looked at it from the fashion point of view. I saw a clearly pregnant lady who could’ve easily been knocked and pushed as we all have been at carnival and then next thing, the life of the child is at risk.

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