A – Sexy D is for Doggy style

Remember whenn Snoop’s album dropped and some of us didn’t quite get the meaning because we were too young? Whatever, I was naive if not technically young.

So there are positions and there are positions. Doggy is the positions many a man yearns to get you in whilst we pretend to hate it cos it lacks intimacy and seems a bit impersonal.

Personally any position where you can’t see me rolling my eyes at all your attempts at hamming up your performance is a win for me. I don’t even pretend to be shy about it. Some women love to do that gazing into the eyes / we are connecting sex thing but quite honestly you don’t need to be gazing at some of us because then you will see that we know that this isn’t going to go anywhere pretty fast. Neither of us are making the morning after call.

But alas I’ve realised that some men want to convince you that doggy is something they have seduced you into doing. It isn’t something you should offer straight off the bat. Apparently just jumping on the couch and assuming the position is considered too slutty? Who knew? Not me!

I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that perhaps doggy is depicted as dirtier but really it’s much less crass than many other positions. At least you can hold the pose comfortably without falling over or getting cramp. The only vexing thing is when they try to get you to arch your back like a wild cat about to pounce. That’s as far as it will go dude. Stop already (I really need to stop having sex with men who watch too much porn. DAMN! )

The other slight grievance is the hair pulling. Dude, that’s not my real hair and even if it was …OUCH! I’m not even going to get started on those throat holders who think that breathing isn’t a necessary part of sex. Call me fussy but I like to breathe whilst having sex. That’s just the prude in me.

But most women love it. When a man takes the reigns and knows what he’s doing then what’s not to love. Fumbling about back there to the point where you have us looking over our shoulder and asking if everything is alright? Not so much.

My last doggy paw note is this though. If he has you there with perfect access to the area why doesn’t he just stick his face in first and make sure you’re ready? Surely that would make sure you both enjoy it, no? Foreplay doesn’t end when you put the condom guys. Make us beg you for it.

To doggy style, long may you pounce.

© Chelsea Black

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups