chelseablack

Bad boys, bad boys. What you gonna do? What you gonna do when they come for you…..We DATE THEM apparently

So I was recently on the Chrissy B Show talking about bad boys.  I have little experience but I had to reflect and there in the crevices of my dating cluttered mind I recalled the one bad boy I dated.

I had recently moved to a new country and this guy approached me at work and we started dating. He loved his cars and seemed to hire a lot of them on the weekend. He was an ex model and used to play for Arsenal youth. This was the first embittered almost footballer I had met so I didn’t realise that this breed existed until my early twenties. But then he was always late, took hours to return text messages and lived with his mother. Any fooling around at his place was very, very quiet. Finally my mother intervened and told me that this guy was a mess. I ignored her at first but then when I discovered that he had another girlfriend and I was lucky no 2 I grabbed my purse and ran….into the arms of my husband. The relationship was fraught with highs and lows and not enough interaction for me to feel adored. I realised that the reason I got involved with him was because I was bored and all of my friends were in a different city so then I joined the gym. I realised that I hated the gym so I joined the local bars instead. Everyone has their own interests.

I can’t lie. I don’t get women’s fascination with bad boys. Low self-esteem and insecurities aside it just doesn’t make sense! You will not change him. He will just grow out of it at some point. If his growth coincides with when you are together then that’s pure luck. But by that time you will be a shell of your former self. I’m not sure that it’s worth it.

I was asked why some women go for bad boys and I had to think long and hard. If I get a whiff of a bad boy I’m out of the door. I was raised to be a princess my precious so clearly I don’t know how else to be treated.

But my view is that most women who gravitate towards bad boys are bored with their own lives. I meet a lot of women who don’t have their own hobbies and interests except dating. Dating is a hobby for most and finding a potential partner is the Olympic gold. So of course they go for men who are interesting and offer excitement.

So yes we have all done it but, let’s break the cycle. A bad boy just isn’t worth the few highs that you may feel. Throw him back and get yourself a guy that will treat you well. It may sound hard but if he’s raised correctly he’ll be worth the wait.

© Chelsea Black

Steak and BJ Day

I looked at the diary and 14^th of March popped out….

14^th of March, 14^th of March…why did this day bring a sense of dread to my body?

And then I looked at my messages. A new friend had sent me a message asking if I was aware of the day. What ensued for the rest of the day can only be described as a sexually tense debate as to whether or not he was indeed going to get ‘his’ BJ.

First of all, he doesn’t eat Steak. He is one of those difficult people who feel that red meat isn’t necessary in their diet. I shouldn’t be talking to him for that there reason alone. What kind of man would my family think he was if he left the meat on the plate. Eh eh!

So when he asked if I was going to deliver said BJ I told him that as he didn’t eat steak he didn’t get the BJ. This was met with a barrage of reasons as to why he felt BJ worthy but there are some key considerations to this tradition that must be considered before you men start arguing with us about what we are going to do with OUR mouths tonight:

1)      Steak and BJ day cannot be moved. It is on this day and plans need to be made at least 3 days in advance as you would with any other date. None of this last minute “I just saw it on FB” nonsense. It is the male equivalent of Valentine’s day and is a month afterward purposefully.

2)      It worries me that so many men don’t seem to be getting BJs regularly. Like Valentine’s day has Steak and BJ day become some over commercialised day for oral sex? I don’t want to get taken out once a year. Create your own Steak and BJ date night once a month.

3)      The female equivalent to steak and BJ day is chocolate and licks year. It’s going to take most of you a whole year to figure out what you’re doing so don’t see this as punitive. It’s for both people’s good.

4)      Don’t demand steak and BJ day to be adhered to. A resentful BJ is not what you want. Especially if it’s a rare treat and they’re out of practise. I don’t know if I would take the risk my dears.

5)      This is not an opportunity to ask someone you have just started talking to for a BJ. It’s just not going to work.

6)      Steak is a double entendre for muffing. Brown on the outside pink on the inside is the perfect steak. Maybe the best way of getting a BJ is to EAT YOUR STEAK first. Just a tip.

Alas I know that I won’t get away without observing the importance of the day. So in the spirit of being giving I have made him 4 Steak and BJ vouchers for his future use. He will however have to get over his issues with red meat and get stuck in to steak…of both kinds. Fair is fair!

Smooches and happy Steak and BJ day!

© Chelsea Black