Sometimes you go through dating situation after dating situation. Hell, some of you haven’t had a dating break since you first got pubes. But sometimes, you need to reflect and figure out if this is what you want, right? Just check you’re on the fabulosity track because quite frankly some dating practises out there are criminal.

expert witness 2For those I’ve relationship coached you know that I have a system. There is a loose method to my madness. But sometimes you’ve got to do the scary. You’ve got to dig deeper than counselling and meditation alone can allow.

Yes my precious, I decided after the last debacle that I needed to take my own advice and get insight on what I was like to date from an expert. The key was …..which ex to ask?

First I went through the obvious suspects. But, the last 3 aren’t reliable expert witnesses in any court case as they’ve been caught lying on more than one occasion. So I had to dig into the archives.

Eventually I settled on a guy I’d dated twice, 10 years apart. Despite the dramatic end we were always able to talk and he’s a lawyer so I know his limitations. Besides, it has been 5 years. I did think about other exes but their Little Miss New Boobs wouldn’t like it and I don’t have time to explain that it’s not  about their tired  asses.

So,back to the chosen one. I gave him a brief synopsis of the last debacle and asked him what he thought and if, knowing me as well as he did if there’s anything I should be doing differently? I don’t understand how I get men that lie and are delusional about who they claim to be. Or am I simply too gullible?

Given that he’s a lawyer I had to decipher his response which said I was an exceptional woman (is expert witnessthis like when women say ‘interesting’ when their friends try on something really ugly?) but then went on to slip in words like ‘immortal stubbornness’ and ‘unforgiving’.

I thought about it and after a few seconds I came to the conclusion that when women don’t forgive a dude it’s because in their minds they’ve already let too much slide. So it may be a small thing like claiming to have done something and not having done it but it’s the last time you’re going to have the opportunity to lie to me

As for the stubbornness, I’m a Taurus. I’m not able to change the date of either of my birthdays to appease a man. *shrug*

He said some stuff about couples working through things and never analysing anything a liar says which I have to agree with. I mean, you can’t rationalise every lie told. Hell, I never ask them if they think I look fat or anything because I know that I can’t handle the truth.

That said I think that if you’re brave enough to ask then it’s worth asking an ex to give you an honest assessment of where you could be going wrong. But remember that you can’t overly rely on their expert testimony. After all is said only you can be the judge  and jury.undateables 2

Happy trials are here again!

© Chelsea Black 2014

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups