M is for: Mutual Friend

So I spend a lot of time on wiki. More time than I should during work hours but that’s neither here nor there. What I have noticed when I go straight to the personal life section, and I always look at who they are married to is that there is a trend. A trend I’ve picked up recently is that a lot of wiki-ites were introduced through friends. They met through a mutual friend.

I thought about how this related to my own life and realised….most of the men I meet are strangers but rarely through friends. Why? Because women and men in their 30s are fundamentally selfish.  We are too used to our own lives, with our own group and the majority of us do not want that to change…for the group.

If you have single female friends she doesn’t introduce you to a guy just in case that means you will no longer be available to go to impromptu after work cocktails. My precious no matter what man I am with I will ALWAYS be available. Just write ‘meet at the gym?’ in the text to throw him off the scent.

If you have single male friends then he enjoys being your cock blocker cos it means he doesn’t have to share you. You’re there at his beck and call when he needs an alternative girlfriend.

I met a guy through a single friend. The problem is that if a single friend is hooking you up….something is wrong with him. This one looked good on paper but had a tiny dick and came like a bullet. To be fair to my friend she couldn’t have known. Let’s all take a moment to pray for bullet dick.

 

 

 

So this met through friends thing can ONLY work with your married friends who try to pretend that marriage is great but really they just want to peer pressure you into surburbia. These are the ones my precious. Go find yourself some married friends to hook you up. Your single friends aren’t going to do it. Once they turn 30 there’s a no compete clause with single friends.

Now where is my school year book. I know some of those chicks are married with divorced male friends. Let’s do this!

© Chelsea Black

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups