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The 7 Kwestionable crimes of Kanye West

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The 7 Kwestionable crimes of Kanye West – so far

Whilst I understand the latest slavery as a job opportunity has rattled many I think we have to accept that Kanye West has priors. Like seriously the pressure of early success is a lot to live up to so now he’s just pissing people off because he’s bored. He’s that dick dude who can’t stand to see other people happy so he’s wallowing in dark thoughts and asking kwestions about how he got here.

Let’s take a look. There are many KWest crimes but these are just the ones I recall without googling. I’m too lazy to give the KKKs any more cookies.  Just to be clear I don’t like KWEST-KarKrash and I don’t follow him and yet he bleeds all over my social media. I’m going to add to it real quick. Roasting is a choice!

Kanye Kwestions West

Kanye

  1. Verbally attacking and vilifying Amber Rose. I guess now we realise that she just had too much black in her? *coughs*
  2. Marrying into the KarKrashes. How are you joining the band of mediocre husbands and boyfriends? I thought you weren’t into gold diggers? Dude, I’m sure she only married you because your name began with a K!
  3. Naming your kids like you’re Gwyneth or Beyonce. A half black child can’t survive this kind of future bullying. You should know this.  Please home school. No wait, family issues…..please boarding school.
  4. Trying to convince us that you were a fashion designer. I will never forgive you for dressing up sweat shop leftovers as a whole collection then making it do the catwalk.
  5. Kooning about your love of Trump. Nobody cares. Not even Trump. Shit, now you’ve made me write that dude’s name twice. I hate you Kanye.
  6. Stupid comments about slavery. I would like him to comment on the holocaust next and watch his public death. He’s not stupid. He knows who he can attack and play with.
  7. Manipulating people into thinking you are some kind of unstable genius who is messed up because his mum died too soon. Nah.  We know this recent show is for the album sales.

 

We have no more kwestions on why. We are all just over it. Darn it! I had to google to get a photo. Sigh.

In other news I did enjoy his tackling of Taylor Swift on behalf of Big Brother Jay’s woman that one time. That’s it

 

Shit I forgot about the staged , maybe it was for insurance Jewellery theft thingy in Paris. I’ll blame the family for that one

© Chelsea Black

 

 

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Warning: Creepy men and the friendzone

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Categories: Latest


Sometimes women can be too nice to avoid confrontation and nearly always, no, always it literally comes back to bite you on the buttocks. If you know or feel that a man is a creepy piece of shit then run. Don’t hang out in his friendzone even if it is work related. Learn to be a cold bitch.  

We met and I immediately knew that his penis would never meet little me. He on the other hand decided that with time my defences would probably lower and my standards disappear. You’ve got to love the over arrogant confidence of a misogynist. And so we played the game. I pretended not to notice his come ons and he pretended that he wasn’t that much of a horn dog.

Finally his penis got tired of waiting and his ‘Mr. Nice’ act whilted with it. I felt the full force of a petty man whose penis had not been water.

Eventually  I suspect, he found another victim and I became redundant. He didn’t need to press up against me anymore as he had someone younger, gigglier, more naïve to play with. I wish her a stay safe and him a stay blessed as I move on to less creepier pastures

Stay out of the friendzone my precious. You’re better than that

© Chelsea Black 2018

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7 Reasons I love to cinema alone

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Categories: BLOG

eating popcorn

7 Reasons I love to cinema alone.

I confess that I’m a movie moaner which is why I don’t cinema often but when I do I tend to cinema alone. I can’t be bothered with the waiting on people to turn up because I’ve got the tickets. I go solo, get a decent seat and chill with my snacks and blanket. Yes! I blanket. Those places don’t like central heating apparently. So here goes my reasons:

1.       Talking. Why are you, your boo, friend, cheat partner talking all the way through? Isn’t that what Nandos afterwards is for?

2.       Those who clearly haven’t seen this film or any film ever. All will be revealed. Chill and stop asking strangers to guide you through the darkness of a basic plot.

3.       Eating loudly. I get it. You’re enjoying your food But do you seriously need to Mmmmm over the nachos? Nah, you’re just being extra

4.       Speaking of which, one guy ate everything at the concession stand. Hot dog, nachos, popcorn, a supersized drink, sweets, It was a two hour extravaganza of watching him get through the mountain of food…..loudly.

5.       Latecomers. Just go see something else or learn to jump over chairs. I’m not here to move. 

6.       How are you an adult and you haven’t learned to go to the loo before the movie starts? Hold it in like a champ! Kegals.

7.       Constant coughs, fidgety, loud bodied people. I beg you check yourself. Public etiquette?

So now I sneak into cinemas late at night or early morning. Oh and, shower first please? Nothing worse than being in an allocated seat next to a post pubescent man who doesn’t know how to wash himself for 150 hours.

That’s me done. I’m off to buy a DVD player

 

©Chelsea Black 2018

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